Precious mats, yesss, our sweet mats! Five perfect player mats, never touched by filthy hobbit handses, oh no! Only taken from their bag for picture time, precious, so everyone can see how glorious they are.
So soft and smooth, like squishy fish! Made from mysterious materials, like that funny'neoprene,' we thinks, though no one tolds us for sure, no, no!
It has a tiny crack, yes, yes, on the bottom back, but not to worry, precious! It won't trouble you or ruin your fun.
These mats are ready for adventure, yes they are, and they wants to be yours! Ssssneaky buyers, come and gets them before they slip away, precioussss.